Posted: November 12, 2007 in Uncategorized

my friend’s fan fiction
Disclaimer:
Ever After is not mine, it belongs to Andy Tennant and all it’s other
copyright holders. This story is intended simply as a tribute and for a
giggle.

Author’s note; this story is mostly one character’s thoughts.

I’m Too Sexy
—————-

Yes! Today is Market Day. Time to be out and about and giving the women of Hautefort Town a thrill.

“Go away you stupid woman.” As if I can’t tidy my own clothes! Damn stupid servant!

Now, let’s see if you’re ready for the world.
Hose straight
Check
Boots clean
Sort of but no one will notice in the street
Shirt clean
Yes, what’s showing any way
Jacket laced
Check
Codpiece straight
Check
Teeth
Present
Head clean
Check
Earring
Damn, where is it. If that fool Horace has taken it again for his pet ferret I’ll… Oh, there it is.
Earring
Check
Hat
On.

Ah Pierre, the women will be throwing themselves at you. Look out Hautefort!

~~~~~~~~

So much for the clean boots. Darn horse sh- .

Yes,
ladies, look at what you’re missing. That’s right, run away. I’m just
too much for weak willed twitters like you to cope with. Only a real
woman can cope with the likes of me. Speaking of real women.

“If it isn’t little Danielle de Barbarac.” Cue ‘sexy sneer’ number one.

What
silly insults! Oh you weak girl, I thought you were more woman than
that. I like a fight but not a tiny cat scratching at me. Well, you and
your pathetic little words will give way to my irreplaceable charm when
I get hold of you. Just you wait. I’m too hot for the likes of you!

Cue ‘smarmy strut’ number five.

I’m too sexy for this place
Too sexy for for this place
Too sexy by far….

The end

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