Posted: November 29, 2004 in Uncategorized

Ode to the Sweet Girls

This is a tribute to the sweet girls: the sweet girls that finish last, that never become more than friends, that endure hours of whining and complaining about what psychos girls are, while disproving the very point. This is dedicated to those girls who always provide a massage (without even being asked) while expecting none in return, who restrain themselves to tentative courtesy hugs, and always give that warming smile, and wait patiently for the guys to finish talking on their cells to their girls of the week. This is in honor of the girls that obligingly reiterate how cute/funny/hot/godly/sexy their male friends are at the appropriate moment, because they know most guys love the occasional ego boost. This is in honor of the girls with open hearts, over-supportive attitudes, and 100% honest concern. This is in honor of the girls who respect a fella’s every facet, from his stupidly funny jokes- to his deepest secrets to- his clothing style (yes even his clothing style).

This is for the girls who drive their intoxicated male friends back from parties, and never hold it against them. For the girls who accompany guys to the club so that they will not look so desperate, to the girls who know the guy wants your help, but doesn’t want to appear weak, so they offer in a way as not to let him feel such. For the girls who always play by the rules in a game where the rules favor cheaters, to the girls who are accredited as “girlfriend material” but somehow don’t end up being girlfriends. For all the sweet girls who are overlooked, underestimated, and unappreciated, to all the sweet girls who are manipulated, misled, and unjustly abandoned (when new girls come into the picture). This is for you.

This is for that time he left you 12 urgent messages on instant messenger, and when you IMed him back, he spent 2 hours gripping about what “she” said earlier and what “she” is thinking over dinner in the cafe. And even though you thought his “girl-friend” was a snob and a jerk, you assured him that it was all ok, and he shouldn’t worry about it, b/c she had to know what she had. This is for that time he interrupted your Sex and the City marathon to rant about a how she had not called or who she was seen with the whole past weekend. And even though you had heard about this three times this week already, and it was only Monday, you muted the tv (right when Carrie was bumping into Big AGAIN!) for that hour and helped him to work through this thought once more, and assure him that you couldn’t see how she would try and mess up “what you had”! This is also for that time he didn’t have a date, so after numerous vows that there was nothing “serious” between the two of you, he just wanted to “hang out” and you went even though you had so much homework to do, and you had a project due in three days. Then he flirted coyly with you, justifying each fit of reckless teasing by saying to everyone: “Oh isn’t she the sweetest friend a guy could have!” even though you were invited purely as a symbolic boost for his ego. You went – because you’re sweet like that.

The sweet girls don’t often get credit where credit is due. And perhaps more disturbing, the sweet girls don’t seem to get considered as more than a friend as often as they should. And I wish I could logically explain this trend, but I can’t. From what I have observed on campus, and what I have learned from talking to friends at other schools, and in the workplace, the only conclusion I can form is that many guys are just illogical silly fellas. Many of them claim they just want to date a sweet girl, but when one is staring them in the face day after day, they say irrational confusing things such as “oh, she’s too sweet to date” or “she is so sweet, she’s like a sister” or “she already puts up with so much from me, I couldn’t possibly ask her out!” or the most frustrating of all: “no, it would ruin our friendship.” Yet, they continue to lament the lack of datable women in the world, and they expect their too-nice-to-date female friends to sympathize and apologize for the girls that are psychos. Sorry, girls, guys like that are beyond my ability to even try to figure out. I don’t understand where the connection breaks down between what they say (I want a sweet girl!) and what they do (let me try dating this snobby girl). But one thing I can do is say that the sweet-girl-finishes-last phenomenon doesn’t last forever.

There are definitely many fellas who grow out of phase and realize they should be dating the sweet girls, not taking them for granted. The tricky part is finding those fellas, and even trickier, finding the ones that are single.

So, until those fellas are found, I propose a toast to all the sweet girls. You know who you are, and I know you’re sick of hearing yourself described as incredibly sweet. But the truth of the matter is, the world needs your patience on instant messenger, your unlimited massages, your advice and honest comfort, and your propensity to be such a girl for a totally honest compliment. For all the crazy, inane, absurd things you tolerate, for all the situations where you are the faceless nameless hero – my snaps, my acknowledgement, and my gratitude go out to you. You do have credibility in this society, and your well deserved vindication will come.

Fellas…this is how most of us sweet girls feel most of the time. We are really being honestly sweet, but sometimes we just want a simple thank you. So fellas…if there is a gal in your life that does those things for you that were mentioned above…give them a good thank you and maybe even a hug. And maybe now you will see us ladies in a different way. Or then again…maybe u won’t!! But no matter what happens we will always be the sweet girl at your side. When all the other girls have deserted you…remember who was there throughout it all!

Written By: Christy Stafford
Edited By: Meagan VanDeventer
November 9, 2004

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